By Staff Writer | Families vs DHR
In a small Alabama town, a grandmother stood by her phone, waiting for a call that never came. Her daughter had just been taken into custody, and she believed—like most would—that she would be the next person called to care for her grandchild. Instead, days later, she learned the child had already been placed with strangers.
Across the United States, thousands of families are experiencing the same quiet betrayal. Despite federal guidelines and long-standing child welfare principles that prioritize placing children with relatives, state agencies are increasingly bypassing kinship options and funneling children directly into foster care systems.
The justification is often vague: a paperwork delay, a background check not processed in time, or a suggestion that the relative “may not be a good fit.” In many cases, relatives are never contacted at all.
The Law Says Otherwise
Federal law requires child welfare agencies to prioritize placement with relatives when children are removed from their homes. The Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008 makes clear that states must notify adult relatives within 30 days of a child’s removal and consider them for placement. Yet across many jurisdictions, especially in underserved communities, these legal obligations are frequently overlooked or ignored.
The Consequences Are Life-Altering
Research consistently shows that children placed with relatives experience better outcomes. They are more likely to remain connected to their culture and identity, less likely to bounce between placements, and more likely to find stability and permanency.
When children are instead placed with non-relatives—even temporarily—they may endure unnecessary trauma, confusion, and a sense of abandonment. For families already facing crisis, the added pain of being shut out can be devastating.
Stories That Are Never Told
One mother, whose name we are withholding for safety, says she watched her brother cry in a courtroom after being told he was “not appropriate” despite a clean record and a steady job. He had helped raise the children since they were born. “They didn’t even do a home study,” she said. “They just decided.”
A cousin in another case says she was told to take parenting classes before she could even be considered. The child was placed in foster care that same week.
A System That Punishes Families
Child welfare agencies often cite safety and expediency, but advocates argue that many of these decisions are rooted in bias and systemic inefficiencies.
“Families are being erased from the process under the pretense of urgency,” said an attorney with a civil rights group in Alabama. “But urgency without justice is not protection. It is a shortcut that costs children everything.”
A Call for Reform
Legal experts and child welfare professionals are calling for increased accountability, transparency in placement decisions, and enforcement of existing kinship preference laws.
“Relatives are not second-best. They are the foundation of a child’s identity and well-being,” said the attorney. “Ignoring them is not just a missed opportunity. It is a violation of trust.”
As states continue to scrutinize the foster care system and seek solutions to improve outcomes for children, one truth must remain central: when family is willing and able, they should never be the last to know.
