A Truth Telling Thursday Article

Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) is one of the most extreme actions the child welfare system can take. It’s supposed to be the “last resort,” a step taken only when all other efforts to reunite a family have failed. But what happens when the system never gave that parent a fair chance in the first place?

This week, I want to tell the truth about something that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough:
Some parents don’t lose their rights because they didn’t care — they lose them because the system broke them down until they had nothing left to give.

The Story Behind the File

My sister is one of those parents. Her son is 16 years old and currently in foster care. The other night, he called her and told her something that shook me to my core:

“I’m going to run away from every foster home until the day I get to come home.”
And that night — he ran.

This child isn’t acting out. He’s not a rebel. He’s not “out of control.” He’s hurting. He wants to be with the people he loves — the people who raised him — and he’s willing to run just to feel close to home again.

But the system doesn’t see that. The system will label him a runaway. Another file. Another statistic. Another problem.
But I see a boy who still remembers love.

What No One Tells You About TPR

We hear the phrase “her rights were terminated” as if it’s just a legal process. But TPR doesn’t always happen because of some big, dramatic mistake. Sometimes, it’s the result of years of pressure, confusion, fear, and isolation. It’s court dates that never end. Case plans that keep changing. Lies that go unchallenged. Services that are impossible to complete while trying to survive. And eventually, it becomes too much.

I believe my sister loves her children deeply. But I also believe she gave up — not because she stopped caring, but because she was exhausted and alone. The system didn’t just terminate her rights. It wore her down until she didn’t know how to keep going.

Why This Hits So Deep for Me

I’m the auntie everybody loves. The safe place. The listening ear. The one who’s always been there. And yet, because of my own ongoing DHR case, I can’t even show up for my nephew the way I want to. That’s the cruelty of this system — it doesn’t just take kids from parents. It cuts off entire families. Aunts. Grandparents. Cousins. People who would love them without pay. People who would take them without question.

So when I see my nephew running away from placements, I don’t see a runaway. I see a child still fighting for his family, even after the courts said that family was no longer valid.

The Truth I Want You to Remember

Not every parent who “lost” their child stopped loving them.
Some were just trying to survive a system designed to drain them.

TPR is often framed as the result of failure — but maybe it’s time we start asking who really failed. Was it the mother… or the system that never believed in her? The child… or the foster system that couldn’t keep him safe or heard?

This story matters. And there are thousands just like it.

Let this be a reminder: Broken families don’t always start with broken parents. Sometimes, they start with a system that never wanted to see them whole.